overviewed pain

i know it's coming-- very soon .. real soon...

we became closer than ever.-
from the simple hi and hello
came kulitan.
now? we almost embrace eachother, hold hands,
and we vocally tell each other to take care. or simply tell eachother how we like eachother in different ways.
some people around us (i know) are starting to give their own " pretty strong" opinion about the "friendship" we share. and i know some of them are doing it out of care. and some are just nosy enough.

i dont know what to feel.. i dont know how to react on the situation that im in---- i love what i'm doing i mean... it makes me feel good.. im happpy when im with him. im feel special whenevr he shows me that i should be treated better,

i know he was jealous last day when i accidentally went a wrong message to him.. the message was for a guy friend. and texted me to stand up from my station and just smile which i didnt do.but i had a feeling that if i smile it will lighten uo the feeling he is feeling. watever it is.

i dont want to cry.. but i know im hurting. because i know i cant really have him./ and i know that from the very beginning. and it is me to blame why im hurting right now. im glad, happy that i know somehow he appreciate me. and i know that even before i felt that i like him. he already like me. which flatters me all the time... as in everytime i think about it.because i never thought that someone like him would really find me attractive.

i like the way he touches my face. the way he puts his arms around me.( without really having the intention of hugging me). the way he looks at me. or i like it everytime i caught him staring at me.

i like everything about him. and im sure about that. it just not like him

i adore him, i really like him.

the sad thing?

it will be just like that.. nothing more

we will just continue wit the friendship kesa sa wala...